Nigeria

Nigeria must be a wonderful country because everyone there seems to want to give me money! This just in, but I'm too busy to reply!

ATM CARD PAYMENT FUND
OFFICE OF THE DIRECTOR OF OPERATIONS
INTERNATIONAL CREDIT SETTLEMENT INTERCONTINENTAL BANK NIG PLC.
Our Ref: IBN/IRD/IBN/021/009
Swift Code: GPZ KBL PS,

CONTRACT/INHERITANCE PAYMENT NOTIFICATION WITH S/G:INTERSXNIG45/ NGI-IBN /NG-MKT/
MIN/009.

SIR,

I AM DR. MRS.LINDA KWAME, NATIONAL SPECIAL ADVISER TO PRESIDENT PRESIDENT UMARU MUSA YARADUA,
FEDERAL REPUBLIC OF NIGERIA AND DIRECTOR OF ALL FOREIGN CONTRACT PAYMENT , THIS IS TO
OFFICIALLY INFORM YOU THAT WE HAVE VERIFIED YOUR CONTRACT/INHERITANCE FILE AND FOUND OUT
WHY YOU HAVE NOT RECEIVED YOUR PAYMENT, IS BECAUSE YOU HAVE NOT FULFILLED THE OBLIGATIONS
GIVEN TO YOU IN RESPECT OF YOUR CONTRACT/INHERITANCE PAYMENT.

SECONDLY WE HAVE BEEN INFORMED THAT YOU ARE STILL DEALING WITH THE NONE OFFICIALS IN THIS
BANK, ALL YOUR ATTEMPT TO SECURE THE RELEASE OF THE FUND TO YOU. WE WISH TO ADVISE YOU THAT
SUCH AN ILLEGAL ACT LIKE THIS HAS TO STOP IF YOU WISH TO RECEIVE YOUR PAYMENT SINCE WE HAVE
DECIDED TO BRING A SOLUTION TO YOUR PROBLEM.

RIGHT NOW WE HAVE ARRANGED YOUR PAYMENT THROUGH OUR SWIFT CARD PAYMENT CENTER IN INTERCONTINENTAL
NIG PLC, THAT IS THE LATEST INSTRUCTION BY THE PRESIDENT UMARU MUSA YARADUA, FEDERAL REPUBLIC OF
NIGERIA.THIS CARD CENTER PAYMENT UNIT WILL SEND YOU AN ATM VISA GOLD CARD WHICH YOU WILL USE TO
WITHDRAW YOUR MONEY IN ANY ATM MACHINE IN ANY PART OF THE WORLD, BUT THE WITHDRAWAL MAXIMUM IS
TWENTY THOUSAND DOLLARS PER DAY, SO IF YOU ARE INTERESTED TO RECEIVE YOUR FUND THIS WAY PLEASE CONTACT
THE CARD PAYMENT CENTER AND ALSO SEND THE FOLLOWING INFORMATION TO HIM:

1.YOUR FULL NAME
2.PHONE AND FAX NUMBER,
3.ADDRESS WERE YOU WANT THEM TO SEND THE ATM CARD
4.YOUR AGE AND CURRENT OCCUPATION
5.A COPY OF YOUR IDENTITY

CONTACT PERSON:
DR.CHRIS BERNARD.
INTEGRATED PAYMENT CENTRE
INTERCONTINENTAL BANK NIG PLC
EMAIL:CONTACT:chris_bernard1000@yahoo.co.jp

THE ATM CARD PAYMENT CENTER HAS BEEN MANDATED TO ISSUE OUT $5.500.000.00 AS PART PAYMENT FOR
THIS FISCAL YEAR 2009. ALSO FOR YOUR INFORMATION YOU HAVE TO STOP ANY FURTHER COMMINUCATION
WITH ANY OTHER PERSON(S) OR OFFICE(s). THIS IS TO AVOID ANY HITCHES IN FINALIZING YOUR PAYMENT.

CALL DR.BANK ANTHONY OR EMAIL HIM BACK AS SOON AS YOU RECEIVE THIS IMPORTANT MESSAGE FOR FURTHER
DIRECTION IN THIS REGARDS AND ALSO UPDATE HIM ON ANY DEVELOPMENT FROM THE ABOVE MENTIONED OFFICE.

NOTE:BECAUSE OF IMPOSTORS, WE HEREBY ISSUED YOU OUR CODE OF CONDUCT, WHICH IS (WWO-2009) SO YOU
HAVE TO INDICATE THIS CODE WHEN CONTACTING THE CARD CENTER.

DR. MRS.LINDA KWAME
NATIONAL SPECIAL ADVISER
ON DEBTS SETTLEMENT.
EMAIL:mrslindakwame@yahoo.co.jp

Another Lucky Day!

I should hit 80,000 words on the new book today, which I now think of as Dark Justice. I am sort of having a race with my friend Anthony Horowitz, who is also due to hand in a book soon. He's on 73,607 words and seems to be writing much faster than I am! Anthony's books tend to be a bit shorter than mine, he's aiming for 90,000 words whereas my last three books have all come in at 135,000! I think Dark Justice will probably end up at between 115,000 and 120,000 so I have a fair way to go!

I'v been offered more money again. I think this one is a Nigerian scam. Sadly I am too busy to reply to him!

Dear Friend,

I discovered a dormant account in my office, as Group finance director of a Bank.
It will be in my interest to transfer this fund worth fourteen million five hundred thousand United state dollars. ($14,500,000) in an account offshore.
If you can be a collaborator/partner to this please indicate interest Immediately for us to proceed.

Remember this is absolutel Confidential, as I am seeking your assistance as the beneficiary of This unclaimed fund.
Since we are not allowed to operate a foreign Account, Your contact phone numbers and name will be necessary for this.
I have reposed my confidence in you and hope that you will not Disappoint me.
We shall share the fund on the bases of 60%-40% at the end of the deal,respond through my secretary e-mail (jamesuche101@gmail.com)

My Regards,
Joseph Sanusi.

Funny....

My pal Dave The Rave in Bangkok just sent me this, and I feel I must share it with the world!

The FBI had an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks, interview and testing were done, there were 3 finalists; two men and a woman. For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follow your Instructions, no matter what the circumstances. Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair .. . . kill her!" The man said, "You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife." The agent said, "Then you're not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home." The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes. The man came out with tears in his eyes, "I tried, but I can't kill my wife." The agent said, "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home." Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman, wiping the sweat from her brow."This gun is loaded with blanks" she said. "I had to beat him to death with the ******* chair."

More Money!

Someone else wants to give me money! It's my lucky year! It's an interesting one, too, not you run-of-the-mill Nigerian scam. Just enough information to get the sucker interested. And it's a Prince, too! Sadly I don't have time to get involved.... I've just hit 71,000 words on the new Spider Shepherd book. Still don't have a title and there are a few holes in the plot! It's moving along well though and there are some very topical plot threads. Dark Justice is my favourite title so far, but that means Light Something next year which isn't too hot....


Chairman Contract Tenders Board
National Electric Regulator

I am delighted to meet your aquiantance, as the chairman of the above board, I crave and solicit your indulgence (personaly or corporately) to be a partner in a transaction that would benefit us mutually, through an over-invoiced contract.

As you are aware the 2010 world cup is around the corner, and this board has awarded a huge contract to boost power/energy supply in South Africa ahead of the 2010 FIFA Cup.

If you desire to be a partner, then indicate such by responding to this private proposal to receive further details.

Regards,

Prince Nathan Mboweni
Tel: +27710780349
Fax: +27865711287

Financial Experts

I'm in an unusual position financially in that I'm based in Dublin but Hodder and Stoughton, my publisher, are in the UK. So my earnings are in sterling but my outgoings are mainly in Euros. For years it was an advantage to be paid in sterling, but the recent slump in the UK currency has hit me hard.... sterling has lost about a third in value against most currencies. (Don't worry, I'm still doing OK!)

As a result of the slump in the pound, I keep a close eye on currency movements. Plus I was a financial journalist for many years and I've maintained an interest in currency and share markets.

Anyway, this was reported by Bloomberg yesterday and it annoyed the heck out of me!

“The high amount of leverage will take several years to clear out,” said Hans-Guenter Redeker, global head of foreign- exchange strategy in London at BNP Paribas SA, France’s largest bank. “Sterling is going to come under pressure once again and current levels in euro-sterling are a buying opportunity.”

The pound will weaken to 96 pence per euro, according to Redeker, who said he will abandon the forecast if it strengthens to 88.6 pence.


This man claims to be an expert? Good grief. Just look at what he's saying. He predicts that the pound will weaken, unless it doesn't, in which case it won't! How much is this man paid by BNP Paribas? However much it is, it's far too much! These so-called experts created the present economic crisis, so why do they still have their jobs?

I'm working hard on the new book.... just hit 67,000 words and it's picking up speed. Thought Dark Justice might make a good title. Or True Justice. Real Justice? I don't know, but Hodder will want a title soon!

Rough Justice

I like the idea of Rough Justice as the title of the new Spider Shepherd book, but the master Jack Higgins used it last year! My thinking cap is still on!

This just in from the chairman of the Police Federation of England and Wales. The new book is about vigilante cops, police officers who are fed up with the criminal justice system, so what Paul McKeever has to say fits in really well with what I'm writing.

The Government has created a "hokey cokey" criminal justice system that fails to tackle persistent offenders, the leader of rank and file police officers has said.

Paul McKeever, chairman of the Police Federation of England and Wales, said officers are "sick to death" of seeing the same criminals again and again.

He told Home Secretary Jacqui Smith at the Federation's annual conference in Bournemouth how many officers view her with "real suspicion and distrust" after a series of clashes over pay, pensions and workplace reform.

He said: "It's in out, in out, let all the prisoners out. In out, in out, shake the system about."

Mr McKeever branded the belief that constant modernisation and reshaping of the police will solve crime more effectively as a "big lie".

He said: "We and the people we serve are being failed by the rest of the criminal justice system.

"A criminal justice system that isn't working and is seen by many people as being there to protect offenders' interests above the interests of law-abiding members of the public.

"Rather than addressing the real problem of ineffective sanctions, ineffective education programmes and ineffective rehabilitation the focus is on us, the police, to detect the same people more often and bring them before the courts again and again."

Mr McKeever said police are left in a "constant state of flux" as politicians constantly demand change.

He added: "This means we will never be left alone as we can never be seen as fit for purpose, otherwise politicians would themselves have to be answerable to the electorate as to why crime goes on being committed.

"In effect, in the eyes of politicians, the police are the problem that needs to be solved, when the reality is that it is the criminals who are the problem and we are the solution."

Cats With Guns

Why would anyone pose cats with sniper rifles? I have no idea, but these made me smile. How did I come across them. I Googled "Sniper Cats". Why did I do that? I have absolutely no idea. I am almost up to 60,000 words on the new Spider Shepherd book and am flat out so it's not as if I have spare time on my hands!

Terror In The Sky

A head has finally rolled for authorising the 747 photo-op fly-by in New York where a 747 was shadowed by an F-16 jet as it flew by the statue of liberty. Not surpringly it caused some panic in a city which has never fully-recovered from the attacks on 9-11.

A White House military aide who authorised an Air Force flyover of New York which caused panic among some people in the city has resigned.

Louis Caldera said in a resignation letter to President Barack Obama that the controversy over the mission - a photo shoot of a jumbo jet used as Air Force One with the Statue of Liberty in the background - made it impossible for him to lead the White House Military Office.

The flight over lower Manhattan for a photo shoot scared some New Yorkers who remembered the September 11 attacks in 2001 involving hijacked airliners that destroyed the World Trade Centre. Some people panicked and evacuated office buildings when the planes flew over.

Mr Caldera had approved the mission. His resignation came on the same day Defence Secretary Robert Gates said in a letter to Senator John McCain that the photo shoot cost US taxpayers as much as $357,000 (£234,000).

White House spokesman Robert Gibbs said Mr Obama had accepted the resignation.

Mr Obama had been described as furious when the incident occurred on April 27 and demanded a review.

Mr McCain, who lost to Mr Obama in last year's presidential election and is the ranking Republican on the Senate Armed Services Committee, called the incident an "Air Farce One photo op."

The report of the review said ultimately Mr Caldera did not notify relevant White House officials about the flyover in advance.

It said: "When asked why he failed to do so, he did not offer a coherent explanation. He stated that it was not a conscious decision - he did not intend not to notify them. Instead, he suggested that it may have been an oversight."

Also released was a photo of the Air Force jet over the State of Liberty from the mission.

Mr Gates, providing details demanded by Mr McCain in the wake of the incident, said the cost of a jumbo jet that is used as the president's plane, Air Force One, was estimated between $300,658 and $328,835.

The cost of two accompanying F-16 jets was $28,177 for a total of $357,012, Mr Gates said.


But my spider-sense is tingling. Hmmmmm. What if it really was an attempted terrorist attack and not a photo-opportunity? What if there were terrorists on board the plane but they were thwarted at the last minute? What if the jet was there to blow it out of the sky? What if the resignation is just part of the cover-up, so that the American people don't realise how close they came to another major terrorist attack? See, there's the problem... Govenments lie so often that we no longer believe a word they say....

Either way, it'd be a great book. Just gotta work out how I can get Spider Shepherd on Air Force One!

How Seedy and Corrupt Is Our Government?

The following news broke today. You couldn't make it up. It's hard to imagine how our Government could be more corrupt than it is. And the way they lie and lie when they get caught out! What Jack Straw did seems to be close to fraud. And yet again we see Peter Mandelson playing word games to try to get out of trouble! Mandelson's appointment to the House of Lords was pretty much the last straw for me....

It's a small protest but I'm going to cancel my electricity and gas contracts with EDF and sign up with British Gas. I'll save money too!!


Members of the Cabinet have been defending themselves following the Daily Telegraph's decision to print details of their expense claim receipts.

Gordon Brown paid his brother for cleaning services, it has been reported Among the expenses detailed by the Telegraph were Gordon Brown's payment of £6,577 for cleaning work between 2004 and 2006 to his brother Andrew - a senior executive at EDF Energy.

There are also two payments of around £150 in successive months for the same piece of plumbing work.

Justice Secretary Jack Straw is said to have claimed for the full cost of council tax back even though he received a 50% discount from his local authority. He repaid the money last summer, shortly after a High Court ruling requiring the receipts to be published.

There is Business Secretary Lord Mandelson's claim for thousands of pounds for work on his constituency home in Hartlepool after he had announced his resignation as an MP.

Communities Secretary Hazel Blears claimed for three different properties in a single year, spending almost £5,000 of taxpayers' money on furniture in three months. Foreign Secretary David Miliband spent hundreds of pounds on gardening at his constituency home.

Chancellor Alistair Darling changed his official "second home" designation four times in four years. Transport Secretary Geoff Hoon switched his second home in a way which allowed him to improve his family home in Derbyshire at taxpayers' expense before buying a London townhouse.

Although there is no allegation that any of the ministers broke parliamentary rules, the report is certain to raise further concerns over MPs' £24,000-a-year second home allowance.

A spokesman for the Prime Minister said that Mr Brown and his brother shared a cleaner at their two flats. Andrew Brown paid the cleaner and the Prime Minister reimbursed his share of the cost. The double claim for the plumbing bill was an "inadvertent error" by Mr Brown's office and the cash was repaid as soon as it came to light.

A spokesman for Mr Straw said he himself spotted errors in his claim for council tax and repaid the difference. A spokesman for Ms Blears said that all of her claims had been approved as being in line with the rules. Lord Mandelson's spokesman said: "The expenditure on his home was to repair it, not improve it. To create a different impression is not honest."

Finishing The Book

I'm heading back to London tomorrow and then over to Dublin to finish the new Spider Shepherd book. I've just hit 54,000 words so I'm a bit behind schedule but it's flowing well so a few weeks locked up in my Dublin flat with no distractions should break the back of it! Speaking of distractions, here's the view from my favourite barstool in Big Dogs Bar at the entrance of Nana Plaza in Bangkok. If I sit there long enough then sooner or later I'll see everybody that I know in Bangkok!

On Pattaya Radio

I was in Pattaya over the weekend, partly to watch the Pattaya Rugby Tens and partly because I'd been asked to appear on the local cable TV station with presenter Johnny Diamond. Johnny also has a radio show so we killed two birds with one stone. It was good fun, especially as my mate Dave Collier, who runs the Canterbury Tales Cafe And Bookstore came along. Dave sells a lot of my books, especially Private Dancer!

I was impressed with Johnny Diamond's name, but I'm sad to report that it's not real. I am so lucky that Stephen Leather is my real name... it looks good on the cover of a book and puts me next to Le Carre and close to Ludlum on the bookstore shelves. Most people assume it's a made up name! Once when checking into an hotel in Los Angeles and I said my name was Leather and they asked me if that was my first name or my family name!




Johnny Diamond (Clive!), Dave Collier, and Me!



Oh, and somebody else wants to give me millions of dollars. This time it's an Arab, which is a nice change from Nigerians I suppose! His name is Ahmed Farid Abdula and I think I'll use him as a character in the new book... a mad suicide bomber perhaps!


UN Refugee Office, Cairo
2 Dar el-Shifa Street, Garden City, Cairo
Postal address: POBox 227, Cairo, Egypt
Reply at khadijajassim@egyptmailserver.com

Sir,

With warm heart I offer my friendship and greetings and I hope this mail
meets you in good time. However strange or surprising this contact might
seem to you as we have not met personally or had any dealings in the past,
I humbly ask that you take due consideration of its importance and immense
benefit. My name Ahmed Farid Abdullah. A supervisor at the United Nations
Refugee camp in Cairo. I arrived in UK in search of a prospective oversea
partner for an important business.

The current spate of bombings and crisis in the Middle East and Gaza has
triggered a mass exodus of people (or better say refugees) to Egypt.

I am in charge of the affairs of Iraq refugees in UNRWA Office, Cairo. I
am contacting I am contacting you in respect of one of the refugees in our
custody. I would appreciate if you could consider this offer both as a
business prospect and also as a form of assistance to someone in urgent
need of business assistance. A bomb blast killed almost an entire family
of Mohammed Jassim, a successful oil contractor in Baghdad. His 2 sons and
2 daughters all perished in this suicide bomb blast.

The only survivors in this gruesome murder are the wife and her newly born
child Mrs Khadija Jassim and . The reason why I am contacting you is that
Mrs Khadija Jassim managed with the help of the coalition forces to
smuggle herself and the little kid out of Iraq into Lebanon with the sum
of 9million United States dollars belonging to the late contractor.

We are seeking your help to receive this amount in your oversea account.
Mrs Khadija Jassim intends to invest and settle down in your country and
with the UN passport; she would be able to travel and accomplish this.
Please kindly accept this offer in good faith. I have worked out the
strategies of transfer and compensation. 60% of the total money shall be
reserved for the lady and her child, 30% shall be your compensation for
your assistance and 10% shall be for mapped out for all possible expenses
that shall accrue in the course of this transaction.

Due to the condition of the family we encourage maximum confidentiality.
kindly contact Mrs Khadija Jassim drectly at the email addresses:
khadijajassim@egyptmailserver.com
To ensure that your replies gets to her uninterrupted please also send
your reply to the fax numbers
Telefax: +20-3-399-1347 or
Facsimile: +20-23-536-5745

In your replies please ensure that you provide her your mobile phone
number as she would like to follow up our dealings with a telephone call.
After sending her your email message and fax please call me at
+44 7024093626

Thanks and have a wonderful day.

Ahmed Farid Abdula
PLEASE REPLY TO khadijajassim@egyptmailserver.com
Telefax: +20-3-399-1347
or Facsimile: +20-23-536-5745 and call me at +44 7024093626

Me and the Beatles. And Elvis, too!

Remind me to tell you about the time I hung out with The Beatles....



And about the time I met Elvis.....